2) If you perceive that
there are four possible ways
in which a spell can
go wrong,
and
circumvent these,
then
a fifth way will promptly develop.
3) Every spell performed
to solve a problem
will
breed new problems.
4) Mother Nature is sometimes a bitch.
5) Anything that can go
wrong will go wrong;
and
anything that cannot possibly go wrong
will
also go wrong.
6) The Craft as understood
by Witches,
will
be judged otherwise by non-witches.
a) If you explain a situation so clearly that nobody can misunderstand,
the
news media will.
b) If, during an interview, you explain 99 good things
about the Craft and tell
one bad joke,
guess
what will make the headlines!
7) No matter what the
result of a spell, there will always be someone eager to:
a) misinterpret it,
b) fake it, and
c) believe that it happened
as
a result of his own work.
8) Once a Ritual is fouled
up,
anything
done to improve it
only
makes it worse.
9) The Coven is a mule,
not a car...if pressed too hard,
it
will kick and turn on its High Priest.
10) 90%
of anything is crap.
a) When dealing with the occult, make that 95%.
b) When dealing with religion, make that 98%.
11) Everyone has a favorite ritual or spell that will not work.
12) As soon as you mention
something...
if
it's good, it goes away.
if it's bad, it happens.
13) If a spell requires
'n' materials,
then immediately before
beginning,
you
will discover that you only possess
'n-1'
materials.
14) In any formula, it
will be discovered
that the required amounts
have
been forgotten.
15) No books are lost
by lending
except
those you particularly want to keep.
16) If you miss an issue
of a newsletter,
it will be the issue
that concludes the article or ritual
that
you are most anxious to read.
17) No matter what goes
wrong,
it
is always the High Priest's fault.
18) When your familiar
has fallen asleep on your lap
and looks utterly content
and adorable,
you
will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
19) A toothache always
starts the afternoon of an important Ritual.
Usually
after your dentist closes;
unless
he overdoes the Novocain
20) If a ritual is useful,
enjoyable and works,
it
will have to be changed.
21) If you drop your Athame
during a rite,
you
will discover that you are no longer able
to
move your right foot.
22) In any outdoor Sabbat,
performed skyclad,
the
Circle will be drawn around a patch of poison ivy.
23) In Any Sabbat performed
robed,
the
person behind you will step upon your hem,
thus
leaving you skyclad during a dance.
24) When all else fails,
consult
your Book of Shadows.
25) If the facts do not
support your pet theory,
they
must be changed or ignored.
26) In any Coven,
each
member tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
27)
The
organization of any Coven is very much like a septic tank,
the
really big chunks always rise to the top.
28) Expansion of the Coven
means complexity,
and
complexity decays.
29) The inevitable result
of improved and enlarged
communications between
different Covens
is
a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.
30) Any
teaching that can be misunderstood
has
already been misunderstood.
Often
by your own teacher.
31) 20%
of the Coveners
account
for 80% of the work.
32) Witches and Covens
will act rationally
only
when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
33) A witch in power
always
takes himself too seriously.
34) The amount of wind
blowing the day of a rite,
is
inversely proportional
to
the number of matches you have
to
light the candles and incense with *
35) It's better to have
a horrible ending
than
to have horrors without end.
36) A Witch will occasionally
stumble over the truth,
but
most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
37) The universe is not
only
stronger than we imagine,
it's
stranger
than we can imagine.
3 When the going gets tough, everyone leaves the Coven.
39) In order for something
or someone to become clean,
something
else must become dirty.
40) You
can all become dirty
without
anything else becoming clean.
41) The other coven works better.
a) If you change Covens, the one that you just left
will
begin to advance faster than the one that you are now in.
42) The closer that you
are to the basis of a news article,
the
more obvious are the errors in the news coverage
of
the situation.
a)
Newspapers rarely admit their own mistakes.
b)If they do, it will be at the bottom of page 49.
c) Witches in the public eye, therefore,
need
a warped sense of humor.
43) The
best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to
seal
the letter and mail the article.
44) For every action,
there
is an equal and opposite criticism.
45) Some Witches work
by the book,
even
though they don't know who wrote the book
or
even what book.
46) Don't let the Elders
know that you are better than they are,
otherwise
you will never become an Elder.
47) The
High Priestess who attempts to inspire the Coven
with
her knowledge of intricate details
has
lost sight of the final objective.
and
The
High Priest who ignores those same details
in
an effort to reach the objective
will
end up someplace else.
48) For every vision of
the Goddess,
there
is an equal or opposite vision
that
negates your own vision.
49) The Coven member,
that you trained at great expense
is the first person to
leave the Coven;
and
usually he does so just when you need him the most.
50) If you are early to
a Sabbat,
it will be canceled.
a) If you are on time, it will be late.
b) If you are late, it will have started early.
51) The cream rises to
the top of a Coven;
so
does the scum.
52) The more complicated
and grandiose the ritual,
the
greater the chance that it will fail.
53) The more carefully
you plan a ritual,
the
more you will resist admitting that it failed.
54) When explaining a
facet of magick or religion,
an
easily understood and workable falsehood
is
more useful than a complicated and incomprehensible truth.
55) Anyone who makes a
significant contribution to the Craft,
and stays in the Craft
long enough,
will
become an obstruction to its progress in direct proportion
to
the importance of the original contribution.
56) Everybody lies;
but
it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
57) If you teach a lazy
witch
the proper and safe way
to draw a Circle,
he
will state that it isn't necessary to do it that way
and
toss out 90% of the ritual.
a) When this lazy witch gets into trouble
due to his ignoring the
facts,
he
will imagine that his failures are caused by another's curse.
58) The best and most
effective rituals occur
when
you are home with the flu.
59) You always hear about
the need for a ritual or spell
after
that need ends.
60) One hour before your
first skyclad Sabbat,
you
will develop a large and unsightly pimple
upon
your left breast.
61) In any Coven your
sense of humor
will
be inversely proportional to your position.
* = my additions
or changes
More?
Have
some more you would like to add..? let me know :)