conversation with a friend, brought up one of the most
disruptive things we can do to ourselves ...Guilt...
I have other pages on this subject and it bears yet another look,
on how to stop doing it !
guilt that WE impose,
on ourselves, most often for nothing at all
was a time in my life, when I would and did do for others daily ,
but let me try and do something for me and the guilt trip was on !
I ever did anything for me, I would over compensate by overdoing for others.
I could go out all day and spend money left and right and by days end ,
have not gotten a single thing for me, not even things I needed
time I would buy something for me,
I would worry and feel bad, what if that money was needed for
something the kids needed ? Or the house needed
and on and on. This is a very nasty cycle,
that there is only one way out of
the Guilt !
are told that to do for others is the best thing one can do with ones life
and it is :)
however....we can do this to the point of self neglect
we not as worthy of our efforts as any we help ?
Does it not make sense to feed the needs of the caregiver,
as much as those we care for ?
Logic would say yes .. but this is not what we often do
old saying goes .. " if you sacrifice yourself to others
you end up hating those to whom you have sacrificed yourself "
words where never spoken,
We like to think we are totally givers, with no strings or exceptions attached
flash ... it's not how it works ... weather
we will it or no,
we expect a certain amount of recompense for our pains,
even if its just a simple thank you
are told the worthy don't ask for this, but wait for it to be given,
but people are notorious for being ungrateful, or at the least don't show their gratitude for what they are given.
Like our children, any parent knows the times they hear gratefulness from their kids are few and far between
and all of us resent this at one time or another, which makes us feel guilt for that too
... how to get off this merry go round ?
Accept the fact that for a great many things .. no one will ever say thanks,
but do it anyway without expectations or resentment, as its the right thing to do.. Karma
and all that good stuff..the Mother thanks you.. even if no one else will :)
Learn to take time to make time, for you, a person cannot give and give and give,
till there's nothing left, no matter how great the others need.
Take the time to recharge, even if just for a moment,
for you and your needs
Cut off the greedy people who suck the life force from you and
give nothing in return... this means Boss, Lover, friend, anyone, as these people don't understand
yet that all life is give and take, and only know how to take
If you accept the responsibility for a task, do it, without mentally trying to hold back
or expect more than you agreed for to do it, even if that recompense is nothing.
In other words, if what you are doing is not going to be recompensed in any way and you knew this
going in, do not mess your own head up waiting for the payoff that's not coming !
Everyday do as much for yourself, as you do for others, even if that's just a few moments
of rest and peace in-between life's demands. You will be better fit for the task for it and don't feel any guilt for it.
As without it, you can't do for them, as they need you to do, so talking care of yourself .. IS for them too
Don't wait for others to reward you, reward yourself
You have earned it
Every time guilt pops into your head, for taking time or money for your needs,
get out a very large hammer and bash that thought over
and over till there's nothing left of it.There is no place in your life for self degradation.
are a child of the Goddess and she tells us life is pleasant,
not a chore to be plodded thur with liberal doses of self
recrimination every time we do something for us
Analyze your guilt. Do your feel guilty for leaving your kids with a baby-sitter, just so you can go have a little adult time ?
Don't, you will be a better parent for having taken the time, rather than a grumpy parent
whose learning to hate the kids for all they take from you. Do you feel
guilt for not doing the impossible and taking care of all the needs of everybody?
think you are..? Wonder Woman or something..?
Your one person, with limits of time, money
and energy ..no one.. not even yourself .. has the right to ask you
to push beyond that day after day
All acts of pleasure are the rituals of the Goddess.. do you really think the Goddess will think less of you
because you take some time out to enjoy life once in a while ? Of course not ! Know when it's time to be selfish ..
there I said the S word the one we are all afraid of..Is it selfish to make sure you stay well, sane and in a positive frame of mind..?
Better that that surly, tired and resentful, as in that state, what good are you, to those who need you..?
Let go of the past... Old guilt's are worst of all, as we can do nothing about them, now or ever..
Understand that simple fact and you can accept yourself and get on with your life, whatever you did or did not do..
doesn't matter in the face of the current day to day reality.
If such thoughts are foremost in your mind .. lose them ..
and get on with your life
a pledge to yourself, now .. today.. never to feel this wasteful emotion
again, as it serves no one,
helps nothing and can make matters worse, never better
you have done a wrong make amends, do not waste time and effort wallowing
in the sentiment of guilt,
you have a right to life!
have a right to enjoyment..You have a right to have the same care, as you
give to others...
And if none are there to do it for you, you must do it for yourself and never .. EVER .. feel the least bit of guilt for doing it
are the hand of the Goddess.. and to be fit for that task, we must be whole,
one cannot be whole,
if one is forever beating on ones own chest crying Mea Cupla !
It is written the well dipper who gives to others can dip of the well of giving forever
the well dipper had dang well better remember to take a drink now and again
herself .. or no one gets any ..
because the well dipper just keeled over from thirst ! :)
art by Me.. :) Care to see more ? See