All's Calm in the Universe by Pagan art


All's Calm in the Universe.. or is it ?
Or
How to Evict the thoughts that are interrupting your peace of mind
Guilt part 3


The Pagan path,is a process of self discovery, one part of which
is to learn how we think and more importantly, what we think of ourselves

A recent conversation with a friend, brought up one of the most
disruptive things we can do to ourselves ...Guilt...

Now I have other pages on this subject and it bears yet another look,
on how to stop doing it !

The guilt that WE impose,
on ourselves, most often for nothing at all


There was a time in my life, when I would and did do for others daily ,
but let me try and do something for me and the guilt trip was on !

If I ever did anything for me, I would over compensate by overdoing for others.
I could go out all day and spend money left and right and by days end ,
have not gotten a single thing for me, not even things I needed

Every time I would buy something for me,
I would worry and feel bad, what if that money was needed for
something the kids needed ? Or the house needed
and on and on. This is a very nasty cycle,
that there is only one way out of

Lose the Guilt !


Self Sacrifice ... Why do it ?

We are told that to do for others is the best thing one can do with ones life and it is :)
however....we can do this to the point of self neglect

Are we not as worthy of our efforts as any we help ?
Does it not make sense to feed the needs of the caregiver,
as much as those we care for ?

Logic would say yes .. but this is not what we often do

The old saying goes .. " if you sacrifice yourself to others
you end up hating those to whom you have sacrificed yourself "

Truer words where never spoken,
We like to think we are totally givers, with no strings or exceptions attached

News flash ... it's not how it works ... weather we will it or no,
we expect a certain amount of recompense for our pains,
even if its just a simple thank you

We are told the worthy don't ask for this, but wait for it to be given,
but people are notorious for being ungrateful, or at the least don't show their gratitude for what they are given.
Like our children,  any parent knows the times they hear gratefulness from their kids are few and far between
and all of us resent this at one time or another, which makes us feel guilt for that too

So ... how to get off this merry go round ?



By the Numbers

One:
Accept the fact that for a great many things .. no one will ever say thanks, 
but do it anyway without expectations or resentment,
 as its the right thing to do.. Karma 
and all that good stuff..the Mother thanks you.. even if no one else will :)

 

Two:
Learn to take time to make time, for you, a person cannot give and give and give,
till there's nothing left, no matter how great the others need.
Take the time to recharge, even if just for a moment,
for you and your needs
 

Three:
Cut off the greedy people who suck the life force from you and
give nothing in return... this means Boss, Lover, friend, anyone, as these people don't understand
yet that all life is give and take, and only know how to take
 

   Four:
If you accept the responsibility for a task, do it, without mentally trying to hold back 
or expect more than you agreed for to do it,
 even if that recompense is nothing.
In other words, if what you are doing is not going to be recompensed in any way and you knew this

going in, do not mess your own head up waiting for the payoff that's not coming !
 

Five:
Everyday do as much for yourself, as you do for others, even if that's just a few moments
of rest and peace in-between life's demands.
 You will be better fit for the task for it and don't feel any guilt for it. 
As without it, you can't do for them,
as they need you to do, so talking care of yourself .. IS for them too
 

Six:
Don't wait for others to reward you, reward yourself
You have earned it
 

Seven:
Every time guilt pops into your head, for taking time or money for your needs, 
get out a very large hammer and bash that thought over

and over till there's nothing left of it.There is no place in your life for self degradation.

You are a child of the Goddess and she tells us life is pleasant, 
not a chore to be plodded thur with liberal doses of self

recrimination every time we do something for us
 

Eight:
Analyze your guilt.  Do your feel guilty for leaving your kids with a baby-sitter, just so you can go have a little adult time ? 
Don't, you will
 be a better parent for having taken the time, rather than a grumpy parent 
whose learning to hate the kids for all they take from you. Do you feel

guilt for not doing the impossible and taking care of all the needs of everybody?

Whatya think you are..? Wonder Woman or something..?
Your one person, with limits of time, money
and energy ..no one.. not even yourself .. has the right to ask you
to push beyond that day after day
 

Nine:
All acts of pleasure are the rituals of the Goddess.. do you really think the Goddess will think less of you
because you take some time out to enjoy life once in a while ? Of course not ! Know when it's time to be selfish ..
there I said the S word the one we are all afraid of..Is it selfish to make sure you stay well, sane and in a positive frame of mind..?
Better that that surly, tired and resentful, as in that state, what good are you, to those who need you..?
 

Ten:
Let go of the past... Old guilt's are worst of all, as we can do nothing about them, now or ever.. 
Understand that simple fact and you can
 accept yourself and get on with your life, whatever you did or did not do.. 
doesn't matter in the face of the current day to day reality.

If such thoughts are foremost in your mind .. lose them ..
 and get on with your life



Misplaced Quilt, which is dang near all guilt, is a life stealer
for every moment you spend, feeling guilty over not being perfect, for taking time to pamper you,
for being human and making mistakes.
 Is more than a moment wasted, it's part of your life dying,
part of the vital force that is yourself, withering away, for lack of care

and it is our hand that starves this part of the soul, not another's..

Ours !

Make a pledge to yourself, now .. today.. never to feel this wasteful emotion again, as it serves no one,
helps nothing and can make matters worse, never better
 

If you have done a wrong make amends, do not waste time and effort wallowing in the sentiment of guilt, 
you have a right to life!
 

You have a right to enjoyment..You have a right to have the same care, as you give to others... 
And if none are there to do it for you,
you must do it for yourself and never .. EVER .. feel the least bit of guilt for doing it
 

We are the hand of the Goddess.. and to be fit for that task, we must be whole, one cannot be whole,
if one is forever beating on ones own chest crying Mea Cupla !
 

It is written the well dipper who gives to others can dip of the well of giving forever

But the well dipper had dang well better remember to take a drink now and again herself .. or no one gets any ..
because the well dipper just keeled over from thirst ! :)



Blessings on you and yours
Esta

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