The time between Dawn
and Dusk is the Day of our life
How do we spend that day, and How do we feel about us
at the End of it.. ? Hopefully we can look back.. in Pride
On the Pagan Path we are
expected to be a cut above
the average, but does this mean we are Superman ?
We May be the Goddess
But even A Goddess can have a bad hair day
Just ask the Greeks hehehehe.. :)
As some days it
So some Practical things for living in a very real
and sometimes frustrating world
all have things about ourselves we are not Proud of ,
these are the things where we need to improve the self
to where when the Sunset time comes
We can look back on our life and BE Proud of it
Is this an Easy task..? No, it can be very hard to do
Because we are human ,we
have bad hair days
We lose our temper and our patience
We have days when even those we love best
irritate us most and we lash out in Anger and frustration
We are Human .. We are not Saints
Does this mean its unavoidable..?
It means it's part of the
Human condition, that without
deliberate Self control, under ALL conditions, these things can happen
Ever Notice how it's easy
to deal with the day to day
stresses and strains, when we feel good..?
But let us have a bad
day, when we hurt, or too tired
or frustrated with anything ( and Goddess forbid do all of the above at once..! )
And the same things that yesterday were nothing, today have us lashing out at others
Like a wounded Wolf whose has been cornered
It's said " Never get too
tired, too hungry or too lonely "
Any two of the three we can handle .. it's when all three happen
that there is A BIG PROBLEM in your life
Now I know there are those
who feel that we are somehow
supposed to be Saintly critters who never lose our cool
that we should learn to be stoic in the face of adversity
And to a point .. yes..
but to the level of just letting the world
do whatever it wants, while we just take it
and slowly go bonkers.. ?
I don't think so............ :)
This is not the way of
the Spiritual Warrior
it's more kin to a Doormat
To quote a very
good friend of mine who once said to me
when I complained to him of all the users in my life, in my youth
" If your gonna be a doormat
at least get up and shake the dirt off once in while ! "
( thanks Tennessee )
So .. what's to do about it ?
The three Rs and no not
Reading, Righting and Ritmatic :)
Reduce .... Retire ... Re think ...
Identify and Reduce or Eliminate Stressors
This is a challenge,
as very often
we don't even know what's making us ansty
We just know that we are feeling that way.
Identifying what makes
you stressed is a matter of constant
Self Observation Knowing the Self enough to note when there's
a change in Mood or temperament and note what came before it
Like a major stressor
in modern life Noise, any noise
TV too loud, Kids making a fuss, the neighbors radio and so on
You think you are ignoring it, but are you ?
You hear it and are effected by it. Its Chi or energy
is all around you, you cant help but be effected in some way
The Feng Shui all around us does effect us
You tell yourself, these
are your loved ones
they cant be the reason I am stressed ! .. Wanna bet..!
They are one of the major reasons. Why ? Because we care about them more..
strangers don't bother us nearly as much
The list of annoyances
goes on and on, down to the physical
if we hurt, we are a 100 times more likely to lose our cool, than if we feel well
So how to Reduce all that to a manageable level ?
Noise is an easy one,
mask it, with your own, pick sounds that soothe and calm
and play them to block out the noise that irritates
Turn down the TV, Teach
the kids to make less noise
and Tell your neighbor to keep his noise in his own yard
Loved ones, take a break
from them and their issues
If children, get them outa your hair for a few moments a day at least
Adults, if it's your house, show em the door if they are bugging you.
If it's their house, go home, your relationship with them will be better for it
Co workers, Bosses ...?
Keep them in the perspective they belong
you work with them, it's a temporary state of affairs, not your life
Pain .. ID It's source
and eliminate or reduce it as much as possible
and Id in yourself those times when it's the reason you just
Became the Wicked Witch of the West
You can think of a million
once you ID what makes you pop
When to say Asta, Later
dudes, and get the hell outa Dodge
Even if its just to the next room. There is nothing wrong with a timely withdrawal,
when you see the situation can not be helped
by your actions, and your just asking for it, walk away ,
go do something else somewhere else, if at all possible
If not retreat in the
to where you no longer notice the irritant.. not mask or ignore
literally DO NOT see it , the Eight Fold Gate of the Mind as is said
in the Orient. They have become masters at this, living in each others hip pockets
as they have for 1000s of years, without
Killing each other off to the point of extinction
This is also the one where
if need be, you flat out give up on the situation, you quit the job, you
toss the mate,
you hang up the phone, you give the responsibility for the task to another.. and so on... there comes a time
when this is the only sensible answer to an issue
Know when to hold em and Know when to fold em "
as a popular song of my youth said :)
There is no shame in this,
if you KNOW for certain
you are not the best person for the task ,
why are you trying to do it ?
This is an exercise in
pain and frustration
Can't give it over you say..? Then you need to figure out a way
so you can let go, because
If you have given all
and there's nothing left to give and you try to do more
all you learn and accomplish is resentment, of the very people your trying to help
" If you sacrifice
yourself to others
you end up hating those for whom you have sacrificed "
If there is No good
purpose to be served,
why beat yourself up, trying to do something
just for the sake of doing something ... ?
There comes a point when
persistence becomes not only
pointless, but counterproductive
If at first you don't succeed try try again.
Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it " :)
This ones the best stress buster of all
Did the Clerk at the store
really mean to say the rude thing he said
or was he just voicing his thoughts, without thinking about how rude he sounded..?
And would taking him to task for it really help ?
Are the Kids really Evil
trying to make you wish
you never had them ? Or are the just being normal kids
and it's YOU who are having the bad day ?
Is your mate really that
Or do you just think so because YOU feel bad about yourself..?
Now the Clerk could be
a rude SOB who needs a good kick in the pants ,
the kids might need some mega discipline as they are being obnoxious ,
and the Mate may be as irritating as they seem
Before you open a can of Woo pass and go to town with it
If you find, it's
you, let it go
If it's them .. deal with it .. but try not to be angry about it
( I know HARD ONE believe me I know Queen of RAGE here )
And ask yourself this, in a 100 years will it matter ?
You would be surprised how much this one can bring something
down to size, to where we can get a handle on it again
All of the Above require
that we stop,
think and reflect just a little before we do an action
Do we do this? No, most
of the time, we are so caught up in the rush of day to day life
and the stress that we just react and keep reacting, most often in frustration and pain
And cause more problems in the process, against those whom we lash out at
Time .. time and practice
over and over to break the habits of a life time,
habits we learned as children
That if i Yell loud enough
the problem will resolve itself,
Don't think so..? Watch a Baby
and see where we learned to handle problems this way
We carry this over into Adult hood almost to a man
Does this mean we are
a bunch of screaming savages,
who have no control of ourselves ?
It means what I said to
begin with,we are human
and humans are complex creatures
So complex that we have
to figure out what to do
in any given situation. Even how to handle the stress of day to day life
I hope this little missive
gives you a leg up
to a calmer World, and a life you can look back on
And Smile for most of it :)
For all the Smileys ... etc
Who is no more but give them due anyway