That Led to the Life I Lead

The Readers Digest Version

I discovered the Goddess and God for the first time, about the same time as I discovered sex,
sheer coincidence ...at least I think so.... :) but, I didn't come to them in toto
until many years later

I spent many years, studying every religion I could get information on
or that someone would sit still long enough to tell me about

And I do mean just about all of em example:

Mormons

Two of the most holy people I have ever met
were the two Elders who spent an entire summer
with a born again hippie cross legged on the floor,
quietly explaining anything I wanted to know,
no matter how often I said I thought it was,
let's be polite now, not believable.

Which is NOT what I said at 22 :)

I have studied and still do study the Koran,
the Bhagavad-Gita., the Bible ( several versions )
the ways of Cartouce and Egypt.

I have Attended mass with the Catholics, studied Judaism.

I even spent some time with Satanists, 
who are just rebelling against Christianity for the most part

But, I did meet a few who really believed
what they preached .. even though, it's not for me :)

I have studied the ways of Buddha and still do...

I have texts of Alester Crowly who is both loved and hated by the Pagan community
but he did kick open a lot of doors for us, for which we have to thank him..even if he was out there.
The Tarot Deck I still use from time to time is his creation, and his book of the Dead is a staple
on every New Age bookshelf in the country.

Native American beliefs that I highly respect
and am working to know more of

The Tao De Ching is a favorite of mine
The words of Confucianism and the Way of integrity

I spent time with Pentecostal holy rollers,
for a good number of years in my youth

I was baptized for the first time as a Baptist,
which is where I went to church as a child

I have Spent time with a few assorted Goths, who don't really have a system per se as a group,
but are eclectic as it gets and really into some unusual music and dress for the most part..
but hey..whatever floats your boat

My first Tarot deck was a gift
from a Goth woman who was

" So far out she had never been In "

and didn't give a damn what anybody thought about that fact

I liked her best, for that alone.. :)

I studied the Hebrew Cabala and still do..

So with all this imput, how
did I choose to follow the Path of the Mother...?

Questions.....questions without answers
that fell out of my mouth, like rain from the sky as a young person,
mostly without answers that made sense to me at any rate

From the Christian sects for the most part
was this failure, but not by any means were they the only ones
The best most of them would do for me was give me books,
which I read and read and read and then they told me to just have faith

The more I read, the more questions I asked
for which they had no answers

Until I looked at all the books again, ignoring the dogma that shrouded them and dicovered one thing,
which was most profound. They were all saying the same thing, when you got rid of the dogmatic " rules"
they all made up to govern the population, and got down to the truths they put forward, they were one in the same thing

So where does the Great Mother come in to that...?
simple .. in the Pagan faith...any path..

They all say the same thing,
that you must walk the path yourself...!

This, I did not find out for some time.

No one tells you what is right in the way of the Mother..
or should not, you have to feel what is right  for yourself

I realized that was what I had been doing all of this time,
years spent, to come to one simple fact

I could not learn what I wanted to know from just reading a book !
I had to feel the truth of things for myself..
I was the Goddess and had to make that contact
with the divine on my own

How did I figure this one out ?

We have a saying..." when the student is ready the teacher appears"
and one did, a man who had no reason to have anything to do with me in fact, he was just a neighbor ..
not even a friend.. I had seen him many many days coming from the mail boxes and thought nothing of it, until the day
I came to understand that all religion's are one, and was faced with the thought of

Now what..?

If it doesn't make any difference which one,
as they are all correct when you get past the trimmings... how to pick one? Or should I ?

Do I even have to pick one...?

But about my neighbor..remember him...
Well one day as I was working in the yard, he passed me, as always,
and I noticed a religious book in his hand 

He just got in the mail. ( the cover was real bright and large so even from the yard
I could see the pagan artwork on it...) 

And I asked him about it
Who does one see , or what book to read, to understand more.. ?

And all he said to me was
"each person walks that path alone ",
and walked away...

At first I was mad !
I just asked a simple question.....!

But the mother must have told him just what to say to me,
nothing else would have worked...but he pissed me off,
and that made me look all the harder,
read even more books.

I Tore the library apart looking for some printed word
that would answer the main question I had now which was..which one..?
And came up with nothing. 

Then I thought about what he said, and more I thought about it,
the more sense it made

There is NO one right way, the answer.
I had sought was there ... inside of me all along,
but I was never still long enough to listen, I was in too much of a frenzy
seeking some authority to tell me what to think

In that stillness we hear what we need to do
the Mothers voice within

My current path would say,
that the war of the spiritual warrior is always with the self,
that is is the failure to allow right action to flow though you,
and to get out of the way of the stumbling blocks,
that we ourselves impose...

That we, not some omnipotent God are responsible
for all that we do, and reap benefit or pain,
in the here and now, for said actions, right or wrong

( You could just hear the Mother sigh....it's about time...)

As our Earthly mother teaches us to be independent,
so too The Great Mother of us all, there is no
'lay it all in the lap of the gods ' she will toss it back at you
and tell you it's time to grow up and take actions for yourself...!

If you don't like things, change em, work with me,
to change the things that need changing, that can be changed,
and I will help you endure what cannot be.
Acts of love and joy are her rites,
and every act of pleasure is an act of worship

The more joy in your life, the more you can handle it when the feces hits the oscillating device,
and even then, the way of the Mother makes you look at even that

I have found over time,
when the same stuff keeps happening to me,
it's because of something I have failed to learn
and Mother keeps hitting me with it !

( Sometimes with a BIG hammer as I can be dense )
until I figure it out...as the Runes would say... to" learn the lessons of adversity"

BUTT PRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I had a wondrous Dream,
One set of footprints there was Seen,
The footprints of the Goddess they Were,
But mine were not along the Shore.

*
But then some stranger prints Appeared,
And I asked Her, "What have we here?
These prints are large and round and Neat,
But much too big to be from Feet."

*
"My child," She said in somber Tones,
"For miles I carried you Alone.
I challenged you to walk in Faith,
But you refused and made me Wait."
*
"You would not learn, you would not Grow,
The walk of faith, you would not Know,
So I got tired, I got fed Up,
And there I dropped you on your Butt.

*
"Because in life, there comes a Time
When one must fight, and one must Climb,
When one must rise and take a Stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the Sand."

-- Author Unknown --
Blessings on the Unknown hand

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