Shadows on the Moon
The Meaning of Loss in our Lives

In our lives we have to Cope with all kinds of losses
From our first tooth .. to our first love
And it changes us .... for good .. or Ill

I came across this letter, in an old stack of saved files
while cleaning out the file cabinet and it made me reconsider
a few things.. yet again :)

I'd like to share it with you now
its a little longish but well worth the read :)
and then we will talk about it...

" Hello ..please allow me to introduce myself, my name is
Loss. I travel throughout the universe with a very specific job description.

I have several friends that either travel with me or on their own. their names are
Pain, Suffering, Grief, Disappointment, Unfairness and Depression.

I wanted all of you to understand the role that we play.
We are all part of .. the cycle of life.

We do not select our visitees because they are more deserving of heart-ache than others.
Our Job is not to punish. It is just to carry out what is to be. You have not been singled out to be hurt
or punished even though I know you may have felt that way. :)
It is just a matter of placement, timing, chance and influence.

You see we first started visiting you, when you were first born .
The first time you experience me is when you are taken
from the womb of your mother.
The very first loss of your life, is here.*

I am the one who visited you when you lost ,
your first tooth. I was also there when you lost ,
your first race. I was the one who visited you the first time ,
you had your heart broken, lost love

You see I have been a part of your life, since the minute you were born.
Sometimes my damage was easy to recover from, sometimes it wasn't.

I noticed when it was difficult for you, but I could not intervene,
I knew that you were in the middle of a molding process you see.

You are the person you are today because I visited you.
Some of you have handled me easier
than others, but all of you have grown as a result of my visits.

There are so many people out there, who have been touched by your experiences.
Your influence is far more reaching than just to yourself or family.

There have been lives changed forever that you will never even know about,
because of my visits to you.

... You see ...
It was not just you that needed molding but others as well.
And you were the instrument.
I just wanted to take the time to thank you,
for helping to mold the Universe.
Sincerely Loss "

Sent to me/written ? by Chris and Debbie Wilson
with slight revision by me :)

Now does that make you think or what?

I know it did me, on a variety of levels
Then and Now :)

Understanding, again that Gain can be disguised as Loss
We hang on, when we should accept the loss and let go,
and thereby allow bigger and better things to flow in to our lives
The lesson of the River that becomes the Ocean

To be reminded, that no matter how painful a situation is , 
there is always room for creation amid the ashes of destruction. 
Sometimes the ONLY way to build is to first tear down,
the lesson of the Phoenix rising from the Ashes

Its when we pull our head up, and stop crying 
that we can really look at what just happened,
and learn from it, becoming stronger in the process .

What don't kill us makes us stronger
So it's said :)

Like the process of making a fine blade,
its heated, folded, spindled, mutilated, beat on, taken from flame to ice water,
and pummeled about until its ready to collapse .. then its fit to use :)

To make a blade like a Samurai sword,
the steel is folded over 200 times ! They were and are
the finest blades ever made.

Tempering its called, all the slings and arrows of ill fate ..
are a tempering process.

I mean think about it, how much would we really grow
if everything was happy happy all the time ?

Not to mention the fact, that the first time it did hit the fan ..
we would fall apart, watched this one happen
to someone very dear to me.

She always made good grades in high school
.. no challenge.. B's and A's etc.
Hit College and boom .... fell flat on her face
Flunked out of several of her classes
the first semester, why doesn't matter

What does matter is,
she didn't know HOW to fail, didn't know how to cope, 
as she had no experience with it ,
on that level anyway, it rattled her big time

Her confidence in herself took a dive
She did not accept that this simply meant,
for the first time in her life she failed a class, to her it meant
I am a failure !

Word of note here..You make mistakes
It does NOT mean YOU are a mistake!

Now ...Does this mean we should enjoy it when Life turns to muck
on us.. ? Of Course NOT :)
Unless your Masochistic .. !

But it does mean, we must take these setbacks and Losses and Learn the
"lessons of adversity" as the Rune/Constraint would say, as that is the point here

There is also this .... If we lose at anything ,
it means that we were Trying to do something

It's a Hell of a lot better to attempt to do something and fail,
than sit about, doing nothing for fear of failure,
as we fail in the worst way possible
As we fail to live

Or this, which I have said before
How can one presume to advise another,
if you Haven't " been there done that"
and that includes the fact we have
messed up just like they did,
even if its not the exact way they just did
We at least have some reference point and credibility.

I Mean .... Why should they listen to you ?..
If you don't know what it really means to stand in their shoes ?

So How to Cope .. ? :)

Acceptance of responsibility. A real biggie on the Pagan paths,
if life just jumped up and bit you in the butt. Ask yourself,
did I lay myself open for that ? If the answer is yes,
you have some growing and learning to do,
So that does not happen again

If it's just an act of Fate that just grabbed your heart and mangled it..
then weep, take time to sorrow, then get over yourself !

Sounds harsh doesn't it ? :) It's not, what is more harsh 
to tell someone to chin up and get over it ?
Or watch them hash and re-hash their pain and loss for the rest of their days ?
That's not something I would wish on my worst enemy, much less someone
I cared about and that includes myself !

So .. Accept .. Learn and get on with it
is how one copes with any loss. Anything less and your missing
the whole point of the lesson :)

May the Visits of Loss and his companions be few
and your burdens no heavier than your will can bear

And may you always have a friendly Ear to tell it to
or shoulder to Cry on when you need one

Blessings to One and All



For the little buttons