all have our places and spaces that we tend to avoid :)
It's part of of the human condition, but the dark spaces in the mind
like any dark corner tends to gather dirt, cobwebs and maybe
even a critter or two ... that bite ! And every time we get bitten by our own psyche
we tend to avoid that corner even more, starting a round robin that has no end ,
unless we give it a way to end !
So what to do about cleaning out the corners ? And why do ya Want to ?
Last shall be first the old saying goes, so on to the
"Why would you even WANT to delve into the dark corners "
They don't hurt anymore... right ?
Ha ha .. that's what it Wants you to think ! Meanwhile it's up there in the tower
having itself a grand ole time, messing with all the other mind functions where ever, and when ever possible
and it's sneaky about it to boot, to where, unless you are looking for it, you will never even see it happening.
Until one day you realize that you
are not you anymore, you have become someone you don't know,
and often don't like and wonder how ya got that way ..?
The gremlin in the closet is the why, busily trashing whatever chance
you otherwise might have had at happiness
Now , does this mean your bound for a Head Shrinker... ?
If you have a whole gang up there with jackhammers chipping away at your very sanity ?.
The couch trip with a devote of Sigmund Freud might be very wise,
there's no shame to that
But for most of us, it's more a matter of figuring out what's effecting, our otherwise rational thought.
You need to make peace with whatever it is
Or you will Have NO peace
on to part two .... how to do that ?
just what it says, shed some light on that dark room up there and see
what's really there, as too often we image it to be worse than it really is. We think of it as quick, nasty and hateful to us
but ... here's the part to remember ... IT IS US...
All you really see there is a misshapen form ... of you ... there is nothing going on up there, that's not you,
every thought you have good , bad or indifferent .. is all you
so what is to fear. It's like a shorted out wire in the TV,. do you toss the whole thing ?
means replace the faulty wire and your back in biz, the same thing goes
understanding that you are in control here , as it IS you, who has these thoughts,
old burdens and pains, things left festering in dark places that need cleansing
Sometimes however, that takes a lance. Anyone whose every had an infected anything
that had to be lanced to heal ( which means take a blade to it and cut it open to allow it to clean itself out )
understands this concept, if you would do such a thing for an infected finger or boil..
why not the mind? Make a space, a door for the nasty thoughts to leave
We tend not to do this very often, as to do it means we have to admit
we have such thoughts in the first place !
you are hurt by a loved one, how you feel about everything they do changes
if you don't track down , and get rid of the hurt
I had a mate once cheat on our relationship, for which I forgave him or thought I did .. but,
I never dealt with the hurt he dealt me and it poisoned our whole relationship
All of a sudden anything he did, that was even the tinniest bit outa line ,
was unacceptable .. Now I am a fairly tolerate person, I can let a lot slide,
but after that,Nothing he did, that wasn't perfect, would I let by
One day he asked me point blank
" What gives with you ?... all of sudden nothing I do is right anymore "
Nothing he did was right, because I still hurt over what he had done
and the hurt grew to effect all my thinking
find it , is a meditative process but a little more active, because
you are hunting
for things that go " OWWW " when you poke them, kinda like when you have had a tooth pulled
and you keep sticking your tongue over there to see if it still hurts,
things that make you go GRRRRRRRR ..!
Like when I thought of my cheating husband. I had "forgiven" but not forgotten,
as the thought still pissed me off, every time I said it .. so it had to go !
I had to really and truly forgive him .. no strings .. no hold outs
Once I did, that room no longer held pain and anger, it held only an old memory
as it should
So that's what you do, plain and simple name off the hurts, one by one
all of them and the ones that still make you go Gurrr, or Cry are the ones
you Need to pay attention to and deal with. As they are the ones that are effecting
how you think and behave, especially towards the person who made you hurt/angry
Left alone, these thoughts become Nasty, overgrown monsters
just waiting for a reason to come out and rain all over someone ..
and it not always even the someone who caused the pain to start with
Ever have this experience..? Have a rotten marriage, then get a divorce ,
then start dating or remarry and Goddess forbid the current someone,
does anything even REMOTELY like the EX did .. because if they do..
all hells gonna break loose, all over them ?
Find the thought and really forgive the person who caused the pain
and the pain will leave
a good picture of it as its leaving, so if it ever sneaks back in,
you will know it for what it is and tell it the eviction notice is still in force
and to GET OUT ...!
you have accepted there are problems, identified those problems,
now it's deal with the problems. This is part we often don't really do,
we tend to sweep such things under our mental rug and since we don't see them anymore,
in the fore brain, we figure they are gone .... hehehehehehh they are not !
Until and unless you force the subject out
And you do that very simply really .. by making a choice
I choose to live life, without some hidden dark thing ,running my life,
I forgive those who have hurt me and forgive myself
for thinking ill of them, for the pain they gave me"
This stops the hurt, serves the Monster in the closet with an evict notice ,
and frees up your relationship with others , yourself and the world at large
As you no longer have rooms full of Big Ugly Nasty Hairy things, with teeth
battering down the doors in your mind, seeking someone upon whom to reek vengeance
There is nothing there but nice orderly rooms .. each with a memory .. some good .. some bad .. some sad,
but none of them outa hand and disturbing your serenity with life
Guilt part one